We're facebook friends in real life
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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