I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize