Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
