Im at strip club and am horny
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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