Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
