there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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