This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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