is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
