your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
