I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
