Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
