are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
