you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
