Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize