Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
