There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
