If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
