chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
