Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
