You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
