we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
