i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
