Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
