Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
