Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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