i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm really busy with my period
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