Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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