Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
