Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
