If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't deserve a penis
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
