i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
