he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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