I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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