We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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