it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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