I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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