I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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