im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
