I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize