so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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