I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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