in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
