She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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