it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
