some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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