You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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