I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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