whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize