11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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