I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Randomize
