go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
