Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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