So drunk its hurt
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize