you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
