literally had 100 drinks last night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
