I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
