His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize