dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
