Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
