this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
