i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize