So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
