i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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