we're chasing vodka with high fives
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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