I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have fence marks all over my body
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
