Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
