Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize