He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
